For my friends across the big ditch.

So for the last days i was in a magical place. A place famous for kiwi birds, silver ferns and short people with excessively hairy feet: Not hobbits, New Zealanders. New Zealand is a strange and terrifying land. There are a few things that amused me about New Zealand. New Zealand has a tough stance on drug smuggling. New Zealand recently introduced it's lethal weapon that it will use in its war on drugs, it looks a little bit like this:This bloke sniffs out drugs, and sends the bad guys to jail. If you didn't notice, he's a bit cute. Upon arriving in Auckland, i saw this guy wandering around keeping check on everybody. I tried to pat him and said something intelligent that probably went along the lines of "nawwwwwwww". The lady that the dog was taking for a walk on a leash quickly told me she would put me in jail if i tried to touch the gorgeous dog again. I am now going to get me a drug dog.
Throughout my entire trip, it seemed a prerequisite for tour guides and people of importance to make jokes about australia, or the australian rugby team, or anything to do with australia. Although initially I greeted these digs as silly jokes which I merely laughed off, probably because i had no idea whether or not australia was any good at rugby or whether I pronounced six stupidly, the situation very quickly reached boiling point. This is where a moa bird started some complications. A moa bird is a large bird native to New Zealand, apparently its quite large, this is a picture of my sister standing next to one:The thing about the moa bird is it is extinct. I noticed the moa closely resembled a huge fucking emu. So when the tour guide made a sly remark about the failings of the australian rugby team, i quickly retorted that at least we could keep the animals in our country alive. This caused tour guide to stop talking about australia rather quickly. It turns out that he cared a lot more about a sheep cross giraffe cross chicken than I did about the australian rugby team. With a tear forming in his guiding eyes, he told the group to move onto the trout lake. I sort of felt bad afterwards, as i quickly realised this guy probably had nothing to do with a prehistoric bird with sheeps wool and a really long neck going extinct. I felt more sorry for him though when i realised that his country was lead by this:Are the cute dogs compensating for something?