Ikea: vomit, frustration and love ensue.

Today i woke up alone. Adorning the table was a note that read "Conor, have gone to IKEA, have fed the cat."

Lovely, my parents have abandoned me for Logan, and I mistakenly just gave the cat a second breakfast.

While waiting for my parents to get back home I had a bowl of Weet-bix. When my parents got home, they brought up several flat boxes, candles, and a cylinder of Sweedish biscuits. The next 6 hours saw me and dad assemble various cupboards, beds and what have you. I have concluded that whoever invented bent pieces of dowel wood as a substitute for nails was probably a nazi, wanting to inflict as much pain and suffering upon me and my father. However it was not the wooden dowels that saw the end of me. It would seem that Ikea, which is based in a questionable part of queensland (springwhat?) originally from a questionably nordic country, has products with a questionable motive. At first, the sweedish bikkies seemed to be delicious, enjoyable, with a light texture and slightly woody undertones. However i can assure you that they very quickly resembeled crumb sized razorblades in my stomach. It felt like I had eaten a lawnmower while it was still on. It would seem that IKEAs strategy is to lure a customer with a trojan horse, and cause tragedy and misery once inside. If the biscuits weren't enough proof, then me and my dad spending 5 hours on a stupid looking bed only to assemble it fucking upside down, and back to front in my brothers bedroom must surely suffice.I knew there was something bad about springwood..

Monarch in the morning.

Today i woke up rather content and happy, i got out of bed, still half asleep and turned on the tv.
Instead of being confronted with the usual morning breakfast shows and cheez tv, i saw this:

























A quarter past eight seemed a little early for the most horrifying site of my life, but it happened. The tv told me that this was a movie about a queen who lived a long time ago and had some personal issues and a few dilly dallys with the spanish armada. But as the movie ensued i realized that being a queen would be quite good. Take for instance when she throws a little tanty at the queen of scots. Would it not be great to be able to behead anybody you had an argument with? And then the queen falls in love with rugged man hunk sailor boy. Queenie really likes this rugged man hunk sailor boy and insists he stay in court rather then get out and ride rough with his old comrades (If you thought that was a navy joke, you were right). She likes him so much that she is angered by a spanish man who accusess rugged man hunk sailor boy of being a "pirate". It just goes to show they even had gay jokes 500 years ago. The Queen is maddened by the daring spaniard and sends him out of court. But oh dear! rugged man hunk sailor boy seemingly forgets his navy ways and falls in love with a female. Presumably at this stage, rugged man hunk sailor boy shows said female how they do it back on the seven seas, as she falls ill with a baby. Nowadays there isn't much you can do when your toyboy runs off and knocks up another lady, but back in 1500 there was a lot you can do if you were a queen. Cate Blanchett shows off her acting skills by growling and sort of angrily throwing pregnant ladys hands around, causing pregnant lady to become alarmed. She flees somewhere else, and queenie locks up rugged man hunk sailor boy. Great plan, lock him up in a cell full of men in the dark, did you forget what he used to do back on the ships? Don't drop the soap rugged man hunk sailor boy!. At this point the coffee machine told me he was ready to spit out hot coffee, so i changed it to doctor phil. But imagine all of that! How crazy it would have been to be that queen lady.
Can't say i'd have a love affair with the queen nowadays though...

Hello.

I made a blog, and a naughty underneath the table (take that mum!)
no but really, i made a blog.
yesterday i replaced the memory battery on my ensoniq sq1plus, here is a picture of me back in hamburg playing it:














gorgeous aint she? solderers shit me off.