This was an interesting twist to the tale, because now as you probably realise, i had absolutely nowhere to stay. It dawned very quickly on Andy and I what happened to boys like ourselves in prison, so as you can imagine, it was almost unbearable to think what would happen to boys like ourselves in a place like Byron Bay. With premonitions of dropping the soap on a busy Byron street flashing through our impressionable minds, we desperately sought refuge, and it eventually came to us in a 99% polyester case.
I know what you're thinking and with great dissapointment i must inform you that it was not a inflatable kayak, or a wahu beach cricket set, although these things of course would have been much more useful. Instead, we were able to accquire a beach tent.
The pawnbroker whom we bought this quality shelter from was very sympathetic of our woeful scenario and told us that we could buy the tent and return it and get 50 percent of our money back. This sounded like an excellent deal to us and we accepted quickly. Bear in mind at this point we thought we were paying 20 dollars and would be getting 10 dollars back on monday for this:
Although the case of the tent bore an image not disimilair to the tent shown above, what we got was a little different:
Although the picture does not show it, it is important to note that the tent had no fucking door. This meant that we had absolutely no shelter from the cold and the pests. Waking up to see over 40 mosquitoes siting on a wall, waiting for you to uncover yourself was almost as unnerving as the 8 degrees Celcius it was at night.However these were mere obstacles that were easily clambered over. Sleeping in a friend of a friends backyard in a inadequate tent is a rite of passage for most, if not all people around the world. It was all very worth it considering we were a 3 minute walk away from the actual venue.
Walking to the festival was interesting. Empty bottles of alcoholic beverages were strewn everywhere. People were already staggering and informing security guards that their teeth offended them. It was a little suprising to see that it was half past ten. In the morning.
Once inside, Splendour was running well. The bands were top-notch and the atmosphere was lovely. Memorable moments from the first day include having a man twice my age attempt to fight me over a disposable camera, having my scalp massaged by the people behind me during little red, and watching the lead singer of art vs science dance in an obscure dance tent on his own like a creepy old man. The second day also was good. Dananananakroyd were absolutely amazing, and are almost as good at hugs as they are at playing live.
Almost too quickly, the monday came around. Me and Andy awoke once again to an onslaught of mosquitoes who quickly pursued us out of our tent as we packed it up and got ready to go home. Highlight of the monday was the crazy whispering lady.
The bus trip on the way back to brisbane however was one of the most amazing ends to a brilliant weekend ever. As me and andy boarded the greyhound, (pronounced Grah-hund) the bus driver asked for my name to check my booking. I told him my name. The bus driver then replied with "what if I told you that you aren't on this list?". I found this amusing and I informed him that if he said that he would be lying, as i could clearly see my name and pointed it out to him. After solving the wise busman's riddle, it was time for all to board "ze grahhund". Not only was the wise busman wise with humbling riddles, he was also vehicullarly inept. It would seem that the busman deemed it appropriate to drive along the highway in 1st gear, and after smelling molten clutch, decided to shift gears in the order 5-2-4-1-3. Had he combined his driving skills with lullabies, the frequent stalls, bunny hops and wobbles would have lulled all in the bus into a peaceful sleep.
The weekend was finished with nandos peri peri chips. Portugasm ensued.
I don't really know who this man is, but he administers portugasms, I can set you up on a date if you want.
